


Blue and Black

by Local_Queer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Death, M/M, Marriage, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Smut, Soulmate AU, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 23:00:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4324101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Local_Queer/pseuds/Local_Queer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell has finally found his soulmate after six years of searching for them. Over the course of roughly sixty years, Dan and his soul mate, Phil, live happily.</p><p>Idk. I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue and Black

**Author's Note:**

> This took me two months and I really like how it turned out. I'm aware that there are probably a few mistakes, but practice makes perfect, right?

I am Daniel James Howell. For six years I have searched for the person I'm destined to be with. Once I make eye contact with that person, I'll be able to see color as I can only see blues and black. Everyone sees the world in the color of their soul mate's eyes, but once they have met them, they see color. As soon as their soul mate dies, their sight is the same as before. Just imagine a day at work and everything is going fine, then back to the bland two color world. The devastation you would feel as you run from the work building to find out what happened to your partner. It's the one thing I'm not looking forward to.

I'm walking down the pavement with my head down and tears streaming down face; my best friend Pj just lost his soul mate, Chris, and killed himself because he couldn't take being without him. This is how it always happens; one dies and the other one follows along. "Hey!" I hear someone call. I look around and see a man walking towards me. "I know I'm just a random person, but you look like you need some cheering up and--" He stops and gasps, as do I. Suddenly, my head feels like it's expanding and I wince. I wait for it to pass, then open my eyes and almost scream. Color. I can see color! I look the man in the eyes and see the blue I've seen all of my life. "I'm Phil," he says quietly. "I'm Dan." I smile and he puts a hand on my face. "This seems sudden, but would you like to go back to my house?" he asks with a light pink tint to his cheeks. "S-sure," I stutter. Great job, Dan! "I walked here so I hope you don't mind exercising." He giggles and I die on the inside. "On this special occasion, I will exercise," I say with a laugh. It turns out, Phil only lives two streets away from me.

"I really want to kiss you right now," Phil says on the middle of our conversation. "Then do it." I smirk, although on the inside, I'm freaking out. He bites his lip and hesitantly moves towards me. I close my eyes as our lips touch. It's clear that even though he's sweet and a gentlemen, he is definitely dominant. I lean backwards so he falls on top of me. I forget all about what happened with Pj and Chris and focus on the feeling of his skin against mine. His hands travel down my body whilst mine find his hair. He pulls away, breathing heavily and he smiles. "This is the best day of my life."

Phil and I are cuddling and watching a movie, and I remember that I need to call my parents and tell them the good news. "I have to tell my mom about us, after all, she's been waiting for years for me to find out who I am supposed to be with," I tell Phil and get my phone off the table. After a few rings, she picks up. "Hey, Dan. Why are you calling at eight at night? Did it finally happen?" She keeps asking me questions and I laugh at her excitement. "His name is Phil and he's the best cuddler ever," I say happily. "May I speak to this Phil?" she asks, taking on a motherly tone. I roll my eyes and hand the phone to Phil. "Hello, Mrs. Howell," he says politely. "Yes, the world is much brighter now." He smiles at me and I blush. "I promise I will; he's my world now," he says sincerely, causing me to get butterflies in my stomach. He hands the phone back to me and I can already hear my mom talking a mile a minute. "You have to marry this boy!" She squeals. "That's kind of the plan," I say in a "duh" tone. "Well, I'll let you be. Bye Dan." I hang up and put my phone back on the table.

"I'm going to head home now. I'll see you tomorrow?" I suggest hopefully. "Yeah. I'm going to take you out on a proper date," he says with smile. "What if I wanted to take you out on a date?" I say with a pout. "Dan, you procrastinate too much to do so. Plus, you're a bottom, and from what I could tell, a bossy one at that." He laughs when I blush. "Is it that obvious?" I whine. "Well, you did move so I was on top of you when we were kissing, so.." He giggles and, again, I die in the inside. "Goodbye, Dan." Phil kisses me gently. I melt into his kiss and let out a noise of content. "Goodbye, Phil."

As soon as I step through the door to my house, I'm reminded of my two best friends. I crumple to the floor and sob. My dog, Princess, runs towards me, licking my arm. I debate on whether or not I should call Phil because I really don't want to be alone right now. I decide that he had to learn to deal with my neediness and call him.

Ten minutes are a very long amount of time when you're starting at a clock with nothing but the death of your closest friends on your mind. "Dan?" I hear Phil say, so I jump off the couch and run into his embrace. "Is it what had you upset earlier?" he asks and I nod. "Do you mind telling me about it?" I take his hand and lead him to the couch. "My friends, Chris and Pj, were soul mates. A few weeks ago, Chris died from an accident while he was at work; he was a film director and one of the props fell on him, breaking his neck. Naturally, Pj couldn't handle the death of his other half and killed himself today." I finish the story, shaking like a dog. Phil just pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. "Do you have hot chocolate?" he asks quietly and I nod my head in response. "How about you pick a film, and I'll make some cocoa and get us a blanket?" he suggests and I nod eagerly.

One movie and two cups of hot chocolate later, I'm feeling a little I better. Of course I'm not anywhere near being over what happened, but Phil helps me forget. "I can't wait to fall in love with you," I say happily. "Me too."

 

~Two years later~

 

"Do you, Daniel James Howell, take Philip Michael Lester to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And do you, Philip Michael Lester, take Daniel James Howell to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"You may now kiss the groom."

I press my lips against Phil's, wrapping my arms around his neck. Everyone is cheering and I'm just focusing on the feeling of his lips against mine. "I love you, Dan," Phil says when we pull apart. "I love you too, Phil."

It's our first dance as a married couple, our bodies are pressed together in an innocent way. "Daniel James Howell-Lester. I like the sound of that." Phil smiles. "So do I. So do I." I giggle. "You're so fucking cute." Phil swears. I blush and he starts kissing my neck, making me to moan. "Phil, there are children here!" I hiss. "And it's our wedding. We're going to enjoy this, okay? Just because a few of our baby cousins are here, doesn't mean I'm not going to kiss you like I usually do," he says with a roll of his eyes. "Well, if you insist," I joke and press my lips to his. My hands were on the back of his neck, his on my waist. "Awww. You look so cute together!" I hear my mother squeal. "Pictures!" Phil's brother, Martyn, announces. Everyone forms a line behind Phil and me. "Say cheese!" Martyn jokes. "I hate cheese," Phil sucks his tongue out. "Just fucking pose." He rolls his eyes. Phil's idea of posting was picking me up bridal style and kissing me. "Perfect!" Martyn smiles. Phil gently sets me down, but keeps a firm hold on my waist.

"Did we literally go all the way to Italy for our honeymoon?" I ask, gaping at the surroundings. "I had to do something extravagant," Phil says like it's obvious. "Our wedding was beautiful enough, Phil," I tell him kissing his cheek. "Only the best for my Bear." [Does anyone know where Phil calling Dan Bear start?]

Every string of profanities that left my mouth encouraged Phil to thrust harder into me. Rough passionate sex is my favourite, especially when Phil involved dirty talk. "You like my cock pounding in you?" He growls, grabbing a fist full of my hair and tugs my head back. "Do you?" Phil asks again, more aggressive. "Oh, oh G-god, yes! " I moan loudly. "Touch yourself, gorgeous," he tells me and I quickly oblige. Phil rests his forehead against mine, staring into my half-closed eyes. I start to quietly chant Phil's name, the volume of my voice getting louder until I scream out his name and cum. Phil stops moving, his mouth falling into an "O" shape. A strangled moan leaves his lips. Obviously exhausted, he pulls out, then takes off the condom, ties it, and then drops it in the bin.

I wake up the next morning to Phil rubbing lotion on my back. "I left some really bad nail marks on your hips; they even bled a little." Phil sighs and continues to rub my back. "I know I must've scratched your back pretty bad," I say, wincing when he starts rubbing a knot in my shoulder. "It's not that bad; you left worse ones the first time I fucked you," he says so nonchalantly, like it's just normal everyday conversation. I roll my eyes and Phil stops his little message session and moves. "I'd shower if I were you," Phil says, smacking my ass and gets up to get dressed.

 

~ Time skips four years. It is now 2015 Dan is 24, Phil is 28~

 

"Cody, get back to bed before I get your Dad in here," I tell the whiny five-year old in front of me. "But Mum!" He pouts. I really hope he grows out of this calling me "Mum" thing soon. "Is someone giving Mummy a hard time?" Phil teases. I glare at him and pick up Cody. "It's bedtime," I say firmly. I put my pouting son in his bed and tuck him in. "Goodnight, Cody." I sigh.

"He really is a handful, isn't he?" Phil chuckles as we go back to bed. "I love the little shit. I'm so glad we adopted him." I smile and snuggle closer to my husband. "I love you, Mr. Howell-Lester." Phil giggles. "I love you too, other Mr. Howell-Lester," I say happily, kissing his cheek.

 

~ Time skips ten years. Dan is 34, Phil is 38, and Cody is 15~

 

Cody never grew out of calling me Mum. It's now 2030 and he's fifteen. I'm still Mum to him. It doesn't bother me like it used to; in fact, I answer to Mum now.

"Mum! Dad! I want you too meet someone!" Cody calls from the doorway after coming home from school. Phil and I look at each other confused, but walk to the living room to see what's going on. Standing next to our son is a girl around his age. She has black hair and green eyes. I'm assuming this is his girlfriend. "This is Kelly. She's my soul mate and girlfriend of two months," Cody says nervously. "It's nice to meet you two," Kelly says, putting her hand out to shake our hands. "So, Kelly; tell us a bit about yourself," Phil says, trying to break the ice. "Well, for starters, a major thing is I am transgender." She pauses and waits for a reaction. "Well, we're completely fine with that," I assure her. "And you're still a girl to me," Cody smiles. Conversation went smoothly from there.

"Good bye Kelly!" Cody calls out, waving to his girlfriend. "They're adorable," I say, looking at Phil. We're sitting on the couch and Cody went up to his room. "We used to be like that; young and smitten. Now I'm middle-aged, you're pre-middle aged, and we're in love." Phil takes my hand in his. "Really, Phil? Pre-middle aged?" I tease him. "Oh shut up, you." He rolls his eyes. "Make me." I challenge. "Well, if you insist." He pretends to think about it. "Just kiss me, you idiot," I say, pulling him towards me by grabbing his shirt collar. I lean backwards so he falls on top me; just like our first kiss.

"Fuck!" I hear Phil scream. That is not how I want to wake up. "Language!" I shout from the bedroom. "Get your ass down here, Daniel!" he yells. "What did I do this time?" I ask when I reach the downstairs bathroom. "What the fuck is this?" Phil asks, holding up a small black bag labeled "Dan's escape." My jaw drops and I almost fall to my knees. "Phil, trust me, that was from long before I met you. When I was just a depressed teenager. I swear on our son that I haven't done that since 2008. It's been years since I've touched one of those," I promise him. "I trust you. I just opened out, saw them in there, and thought the worst." Phil half smiles. "Throw them away please," I say, tears threatening to be shed. Phil nods and goes to the outside bins to throw those awful pieces of metal away. 

TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM  
Suddenly, it's like I'm seventeen again and I'm sitting on the floor of my bedroom, slicing into the skin on my thighs. My chest tightens and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. I bang on the bathroom floor five times; it's how I get Phil's attention during a panic attack. Instead of Phil, Cody runs into the bathroom. "Mum? Okay, look at me," he commands. "Try to match my breathing, okay?" He starts taking deep breaths and I try to match them. I feel myself calm down. Cody opens his arms and I hug him, still shaking. Phil walks into the bathroom, gasping at the sight of the two of us. "I didn't hear you. Oh god, I didn't hear you when you knocked. You could have hyperventilated, or hit your head, or--" Phil panics. "P-Phil, it's okay. Cody got here and h-helped me," I say, standing up and helping Cody stand. Phil launched himself at me. "I'm okay. It's going to fine," I reassure him. "I love you so much." He sniffles. "I know you do," I say quietly.

The rest of the day goes pretty much without incident. "Goodnight, Cody," I say, hugging the ever-growing boy. "Goodnight, Mum."

"I love your cuddles." Phil giggles. "I love your face," I say tiredly. "You're such a dork!" He laughs, doing that adorable thing where his tongue pokes out. "Just cuddle me, you oaf." I make grabby hands at him. "Adorable," he says under his breath, then scoots towards me for cuddles.

"I'm going to kill you if you shoot me one more time, Charlie!" I hear Cody yell. Fucking gamer kid. "It's too early!" I groan. "It's almost twelve. Get your cute ass up," Phil says, ripping the blankets from me. "Leave me alone." I sigh. I feel the bed dip and arms wrap around my waist. "You okay?" he asks, kissing my forehead. "Yeah. It's just today it's the anniversary of Chris' death." I close my eyes tightly, fighting my tears. "Just stay in bed; I'll make you breakfast and some coffee." With that, he leaves the room. "What's wrong with Mum?" Cody asks from outside the bedroom door. "He lost an important person about sixteen years ago today. He's going to rest for a while." I can tell Phil is running his hands through his hair.

"I made Delia Smith pancakes!" Phil announces as he walks into the room with a tray. "You really went all out, didn't you?" I smile weakly at him. "Only the best for my Bear." Phil blushes. "Thank you, my Lion," I say and make kissy faces at him. Phil says the tray on my lap and kisses me passionately. "I'm going to take Chris to his band practice, okay? I'll be back in half an hour. I love you," he tells me, kissing me once more. "I love you too."

As promised, Phil returns in half an hour. I managed to clean my dishes and take a shower whilst he was gone. "It's good to see you're taking care of yourself. I hate when you're all sad and stuff." He frowns and I just smile at him. Phil could always make me feel better. I stretch my arms towards him, signaling that I want a hug. "You're amazing, you know that?" he tells me with a genuine smile. "Sure I am." I roll my eyes and hug him. "I love your bum," he says, smacking my ass lightly. I blush and bite my lip. 

"Do you want to watch Deathnote?" 

"Hell yeah I do."

Watching Deathnote turned into me being pinned down on the floor by Phil. "You h-have to pick up, ahhh, C-cody in an hou-our." I stuttered out. "We have two hours until I have to leave, and I intend to spend every minute of it touching you," he says as he takes off his shirt. "Clothes off and on all fours," he demands with a growl. I whimper and start taking my clothes off. Once I'm stripped, I get on my hands and knees, waiting for Phil to do something. I hear Phil walk away. My knees begin to hurt from the carpet imprinting my skin. "Phil?" I call out, biting my lip. "Stretch yourself." He tosses the bottle of lube in front of me. I move so I'm kneeling and coat my fingers in lube, then move so I'm resting on my forearm and my other hand moves towards my ass. I moan at the feeling. I hear Phil's pants drop to the floor and him opening a condom. His hands are on my hips and I place myself on all fours again. "You ready?" he asks, his voice breathy. I just whimper and spread my legs apart. "Such a whore for me." Phil chuckles. He pushes into me extremely slowly, so I buck my hips. One of his hands travels up my back, wrapping around my neck. I'm a whimpering and moaning mess with shaking legs and laboured breathing as Phil roughly pounds into me. "Fu-uck." I gasp, digging my nails into the carpet. "Touch-ch m-me," I beg, knowing if I tried to get myself off, I'd probably fall onto my face. "No. The only thing you're getting is me fucking your tight little hole." Phil pulls my hair so I'm looking at the ceiling. "You gonna cum, you cockslut?" he asks with a certain tone of voice that sends me over the edge and I almost collapse. I hear Phil gasp and feel his nails digging into my shoulder and thigh.

"I have to pick Cody up. Can you clean the carpet?" Phil asks once his breathing was back to normal. "Yeah. I'd take a shower before I left if I were you," I tell him. I stand up carefully, my knees in pain from the rug burn and amount of time I spent on them. I help Phil stand up and grab my t-shirt and put it on. I walk to the kitchen to get a rag and the carpet cleaner from under the sink.

"I'll be back in half an hour. I love you," Phil tells me with a quick kiss. "I love you too!" I call happily as he walks out the door. After the carpet is clean, I take a shower and make a late lunch. "But Dad!" I hear Cody whine. "Ask your mum, and if he says you can, then I'll let you," Phil says sounding frustrated. "Mum? Can I get piano lessons?" Cody begs with his bottom lip jutting out. "I could teach you. You do remember I can play the piano, right Phil?" I smirk, remembering how much he loved my piano playing. Basically, the look of concentration on my face was "sexy," and often led to hot make out sessions. "You'd really teach me?" Cody asks in disbelief. "Why not?"

"What in the actual fuck is this?" I exclaim, holding a giant art kit that I find in the closet. "It's my art kit, idiot," Phil says with a roll of his eyes. "In the sixteen years we've been together, I have never seen your artwork," I say confused. "Where in the he'll do you think that painting of a watermelon and apples came from? That's my painting called 'Melapples,' Dan." Phil just chuckles and shakes his head. "Melapples? Really Phil?" I busy into laughter and Phil just blushes. "Fuck off," he huffs and stomps away. "Adorable," I say to myself.

"Dan. Daniel. Danny. Wake up! Fine." Phil starts to get up, so I blindly start grabbing for him. I end up smacking him in the face. "You absolute spoon! That was my face." Phil laughs. "Sorry. Just get back in bed," I whine and roll onto my back. "Love, it's ten a.m. It's time to get ready to get Cody's birthday cake," Phil tells me. The simple outer name never ceases to make me feel happy. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I say, turning my head to look at him. "Yes, you have. And I love you more." Phil giggles and walks out of the room. I lay there for a second, just thinking to myself how lucky I am to have Phil as my own.

Cody's birthday party was small, but we still managed to get food everywhere. There was cake on the window, soda spilt on the counter, etcetera. "I'm not cleaning up this time. Last birthday party's mess was huge and I had to clean it myself." Phil walks out of the kitchen. "You're sixteen. I feel so old." I groan and start getting the cleaning supplies out. "Well you are almost forty, so..." Cody laughs and starts cleaning the windows.

 

~ Time skips twenty years (because why the fuck not) Dan is 56, Phil is 60, and Cody is 38~

 

Cody was visiting for the holidays with his wife Kelly and their 10-year-old daughter Jessica. "Dad, why do I call Grandpa's husband Grandma if he's a boy?" Jessica asks Cody. "You call him Grandma because I call him my Mum. When I was really little, I would call him Mum because it was easier to call him Mum instead of Dad because it would just get confusing," he explains. "Oh. Can I have a soda, please?"

"Bye!" Phil and I wave as they drive down the road. "I'm so proud of our kid. He's done so much," I say, turning to walk back into the house. "I'm going to bed. Care to join me?" Phil asks with a cute yawn that made me smile. "Cuddles?" I ask hopefully. "Of course."

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Why am I only seeing black and blue? "Phil!" I scream at the body next to me. I call 999 and start performing CPR on Phil. The paramedics knock on the door and I rush to let them in. They take Phil out on a gurney and I get in the back of the ambulance. As they try to revive him, I get flashes of color. "We have a pulse!" I steadily see color and almost faint.

When we arrive to the hospital, color disappears again. I call Cody and he rushes to the hospital.

I'm hit with random flashes of color, then blue, then color again. Eventually, I see color for a few minutes. "Philip Howell-Lester?" a doctor says. I jump up and walk over to her with my hands clenched and my bottom lip in between my teeth. "As you could tell, he is alive, but we have some news. If you follow me, I'll take you to see your husband." She smiles sadly. Cody is crying silently whilst holding onto the sleeve of my pajama shirt. I honestly just want to drink my mind away right now. "Here he is." She opens the door and we rush inside. Phil is hooked up to all of these machines, but he's awake nonetheless. "Phil!" I cry out and drop to my knees at his bedside. "Mr. and Mr. Howell-Lester, I'm assuming you would like to know the cause of this?" The doctor, whose name is Dr. Smith, asks. "Please." I whimper. "We'll, Phil, we did some testing and will get the details back soon. From what we can tell right now, we believe Phil had a sudden heart attack in his sleep. We don't know why yet," the doctor explains. I sob into my hands and look at Phil. "I'm fine, see? I'm going to be okay." He tries to calm me down. Cody helps me stand back up. I kiss Phil tenderly, trying to let him know how scared I was and how happy I am knowing he's going to be okay.

Old age was what caused his heart attack. The doctors said to watch him carefully for the next few days, but say he should be perfectly fine. "Dan, you have to let go of my hand so I can get out of the car," Phil says softly. I drop his hand and get out of the car and slam the door. I storm into the house and go to our bedroom, locking the door and laying on the bed. I grab Phil's pillow and cuddle it. I take a deep breath through my nose, enjoying the smell of Phil's shampoo and cologne. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to get rid of the pain in my chest. Phil unlocks the door since he has a key for "emergency purposes," as he calls them. Really "emergency purposes," were code for when I did something stupid and hid in the bedroom. He doesn't say anything, he just lays next to me. He pulls the pillow out of my grip, and wraps his arm around me waist. I turn over and rest my head against his chest, letting out all the tears I had left. Phil rubs little circles onto my back with his index finger, humming a random tune. No words are spoke as I sob into his shirt. "I love you," I choke out the words. "I love you too." He kisses the top of my head.

We try to ignore the entire incident, we really did, but it didn't really work. "I thought lost you. When I couldn't see color, I... I just snapped. I wanted to go back to the nights spent at the bar, getting drunk off of my mind in an attempt to forget. If you didn't make it, I would have killed myself. It scares me because of how dependant I am on you," I tell him in an emotionless voice. Phil leaves the lounge without a word. I hear the intro to Invincible by Muse begin to play through the speakers in the house. I almost cry at the memories I get from this song. Phil walks back into the lounge with a smile on his face. I stand up and run into his arms. "Dance with me like it's our wedding day. Dance with me like it's the end of the world and all we have is each other," he says softly, resting his hand in my waist. I look up at him and study his features. The greying hairs, the wrinkles from smiling and laughing so much. I notice the way his eyes still sparkle, how they tell his emotions. His hand moves to the back of my neck. "You're all I've ever wanted, and all I've ever needed." With that, he connects out lips in a soft kiss. Even after almost fifty years, I still get that warm feeling in my chest when I'm with him. We dance into the hours of the early morning, just silently telling each other how significant the other is. 

"How is Dad doing?" Cody asks when he calls the next morning. "He's fine from what I could tell. How are Kelly and Jessica?" I ask him, trying to change the subject. "Jessica is going through her first period so I'm trying to make sure she's comfy. Kelly has been busy with her art lately. She gets these bursts of creativity that usually end up in amazing artwork." He rambles on about her art career. "I'm going to check on your father," I tell him, looking down the hallway and seeing Phil coming out of the bedroom. "Okay. Tell him I said I love him. Bye Mum." I hear the beep telling me he hung up. "Cody says he loves you." I smile and turn to get his breakfast of the counter. "Such a good housewife," he teases and kisses my cheek. "Fuck off."

Phil's brother Martyn is currently mourning the loss of his son. The office building he was working in suddenly collapsed due to a pipe burst. Several others were injured and a few died. Since I am terrible at comforting people, I decide to go make some tea. "He was only forty, Phil. He had so many years ahead of him. Amanda is devastated, she can't live by herself." Martyn is crying into Phil's shoulder and Phil just holds him. The kettle whisked, scaring me half to death. "Tea is ready," I say quietly, handing each of them a mug. " Thanks, Dan." Martyn smiles at me. " You're welcome," I say awkwardly.

"Thanks again, guys." Martyn hugs us both. "We're here for you," I assure him. He smiles then goes back to his car and leaves. Phil takes my hands in his, squeezing gently. "I love you." "I love you too."

 

~Time skips fifteen years Dan is 71, Phil is 75, Cody is 51~

 

He had another heart about a month ago. It was worse than the one before, but it didn't kill him. I was so close to losing him, but he pulled through. Since we're both nearing the end of our lives, we've written our wills and decided to treat ourselves again. Phil has been taking me on little dates here and there. Most of the time we go to a little café for lunch, or go somewhere nice for dinner. People smile at our obvious love for each other, rather than sneering and calling us "faggot," or "disgusting." It pains me to know that we only got acceptance when we were near the last few years of our lives.

"Dan, could you get me a glass of water so I can take my poison?" Phil calls from the bedroom. I roll my eyes at the use of the word "poison," when he mentions his medication. I fill up a cup of water and take it to him. "How are you feeling?" I ask him, sitting next to him on the bed. "As good as ever. I am hungry though," he tells me. I watch as he swallows his pills wincing at the feeling. "I made French toast for breakfast," I say, then stand up and walk to the kitchen. I grab Phil's plate and set it at the breakfast bar along with mine. "Smells lovely." We sit down and eat breakfast in a comfortable silence. Taking advantage of me being left-handed, Phil takes my hands in his.

"I love you, y'know that?" Phil says as he washes the dishes. "I'm aware of it," I joke asks wrap my arms around his waist. "Even though you're getting old, I love you too." I laugh quietly into the back of his shirt. "You're not so young yourself," he says and I can tell he rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, old man." I tighten my arms around him, then let go. "I'm going to watch TV, if you care to join me. I tell him as I walk to the lounge. I sit down and begin to flip through the channel's, trying to find something that captures my attention.

It happened so fast. The gunshots rang out in the shop. Two pierced my flesh. I crumple to the ground and scream. Phil starts panicking and drops to his knees by me. "No. Danny, stay with me. Please," Phil begs me. "I love you, Phil." I cough up blood. Breathing is agonizing, each breath making me whimper in pain. "I love you too Dan. Oh god. I love you." The tears stream down his face. I look him in the eyes and smile. I press my blood stained lips to his one last time. "Thank you, my Lion." I stutter through the words so bad I don't know if he understood what I said. My vision begins to tunnel until I can't see anymore. This is it. This is the end. "Only the best for my Bear."

For awhile, all I could see was black. Eventually, I woke up in a large room that looked like it came straight out of a hotel brochure. Everything is blue and black again. I stood up and looked around. "Dan!" I hear a familiar voice greet me. "Pj? Is that you?" I ask in disbelief. "And me!" I hear laughter coming from behind me. I turn around and see my best friends. I run up to them and pull them into a group hug. "I know you haven't seen us in forever, but do you want to check on Phil?" Pj asks me. "Please." I whimper in fear Phil is hurt. "Okay, close your eyes and just imagine yourself in your house," Chris tells me. I follow his instructions and begin to feel like I'm floating. "We're here," Chris says cheerfully. I open my eyes and see that we are in my mine and Phil's house. I guess it's just Phil's now. "He can't see us, or hear us so you can walk through the house without him knowing." I just nod and wander through the hallway.

Phil is in our bedroom when I find him. He's lying on top of the duvet in one of my old t-shirts. "Oh, Phil." I sigh. Even though he cannot see me, or feel me, I lay beside him with my head on his chest. "Love, if you can hear me, I'm sorry you had to die like that. I miss you so fucking much, you've no idea. Maybe you do. Cody tried to cheer me up by taking me to dinner. I guess he didn't realize that the diner we went to was where you and I had eaten at for our thirtieth anniversary. I just can't do anything without being reminded of you. I love you, Bear, and it's so hard to live without you. I'll see you soon." Phil closes his eyes and I stand up. He turns onto his side and curls into the fetal position. Once I'm sure he's asleep, I go find Pj and Chris. "Can we visit Cody?" I ask nervously. "Sure." They give me sympathetic smiles.

Cody was doing better than I expected. He was upset, but he was still taking care of himself. "My little boy," I say quietly to myself. 

"So, do you want us to explain how this whole afterlife thing works?" Pj asks me once we were back at what I assume is heaven. "Please do." I sit down on the edge of the bed, giving Pj my full attention. "Okay, so basically the is heaven. There is no hell, only this place. If you haven't noticed, your 24 again; we all revert back to our twenties when we die. Phil should be here soon. Earth years are the equivalent of a week here. This is your house, we'll give you a tour later. We need to show you around here so you don't get lost. Did I forget anything?" Chris looks at Pj and gets a nod. "That's everything."

 

~~~~~~~~

 

It was around three months later that Phil dies. He passes away in his sleep at eighty-four years old.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Chris, Pj, and I are waiting for Phil to arrive. I was told that it would take up to five hours for him to get here. In this world, there is a giant sign that says the names of a person that has died and will end up in the local area. Since I'm Phil's soul mate, I automatically know when he dies because I can see color as soon as he does. I was curious as to how he would appear. Would he slowly become visible, or would he just appear? My question are answered when Phil gradually becomes visible on the bed. I almost cry when I see him. His eyes flutter open and he jumps when he sees us. "Dan!" He jumps out of the bed and tackles me in a hug. I cry into his shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck. We pull away from the embrace, wiping the tears off our cheeks. "Phil, I'd like you to meet Chris and Pj," I turn and gesture to my best friends. "It's so nice to meet you guys." Phil smiles and hugs them both.

Chris and Pj leave soon after Phil arrives, leaving us to cuddle and cry on the bed. "I love you so much," I mumble into Phil's shirt. "I love you too. I love you with ask that I am," Phil whispers. I look up at him, starting into his eyes. "I've missed you immensely," he says before he kisses me softly. "You mean so much to me." Another kiss. "You're my own personal ray of light." More kisses. No more words as said as we hold each other.

After a long day of showing Phil how the local area works, and where everything is, we sit on the couch and watch movies. "Today was great. I'm so happy to finally be able to spend the rest off time with you," Phil says with a smile on his face. "So do I. I love you, Philip Michael Howell-Lester." I tell him in a quiet voice. "I love you too, Daniel James Howell-Lester."


End file.
